Being Squishy
by hidamari
Summary: One of Wheeljack's thingamajigs blew up. That's no big deal, considering it happens on a daily basis and all. But when it transforms Cybertronians into... something else? Now that's a big deal.
1. Chapter 1

A loud bang and a bright flash of light from the general direction of Wheeljack's lab on the Ark had everyone on the battlefield momentarily stunned. The noise and bustle grew louder but the gunshots had ceased as mechs from both factions tried to regain their bearings.

Optimus Prime took the opportunity to deftly kick Megatron, who had the Autobot commander pinned to the ground and at the mercy of the his fusion cannon, off into the clouds of dust that now settled over, well, everything. Optimus picked himself up, tuning into the general chaos that now gripped both the Decepticons and the Autobots. A movement behind him caught his attention.

"Jazz," he acknowledged the presence, amazed at how his third-in-command could slink around like that when everyone was so disoriented. But then again, Jazz wasn't head of special ops for nothing.

"Something happened," the black-and-white said, coming to stand next to his commander. Optimus sighed; "something happened" never meant anything good in a situation like this.

"Any idea what that 'something' is?" Optimus questioned as he tried to squint through the settling dust.

"Nope, not really..." Jazz hesitated for a moment. His commander looked down at him.

"And?"

Technically, Optimus couldn't see behind Jazz's visor, but it didn't take a psychic to sense the ops officer's amusement, a feeling the Prime thought was vastly out of place at the moment. Jazz, picking up the vibe of disapproval from his commander, hurriedly went on the defensive.

"Woah it ain't what you think Optimus," he said hastily, but failed to wipe the fading grin on his face completely.

Optimus was not amused.

"Eh... well, how do I put this," Jazz scratched his chin. He quickly plastered a disarming smile on his faceplates at the dark look his Prime was giving him.

"Alright okay, I don't really know what happened, but I was fighting with Thundercracker when that flash and bang went off. One of the beams kinda hit him. Then he – " Jazz made a 'poof' noise and a gesture with his hands. Optimus frowned in confusion.

"But I thought only Skywarp can teleport."

Jazz shook his head. "Nuh uh, I don't think he teleported..."

Optimus waited.

"I think... he shrank."

**ooo**

He was only half right. Thundercracker did shrink, but he didn't _just_ shrink.

The former jet was now hiding behind some bushes, inspecting himself in mortified horror. He was no longer metallic, strong and shiny. He had no null rays, no armor, no electrical systems and energon in his body. He was every Decepticon's worst nightmare.

He was a human.  
A squishy, defenseless, and naked human, no less.

A noise from around the bushes startled him. A head, along with its upper torso emerged from the bushes, and caught sight of the curled up Thundercracker. The stranger started and scrambled away. Thundercracker jumped at the sudden movement.

"Wh-who are you?" the newcomer demanded, arms raised defensively and sharp eyes narrowed. Thundercracker momentarily lowered his own raised arms; he'd recognize that voice and attitude anywhere.

"Starscream," he said quietly, and smirked at the startled look the dark haired man shot at him.

"It's me, Thundercracker."

It took a moment of suspicious staring and several once overs before the former Air Commander decided to believe the wavy haired human really was Thundercracker.

And then the fuming began.

"I don't believe this!" Starscream ranted, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Look at us! We're squishies! Fleshbags! HUMANS!" And he wrung his hands in an expressive display of frustration.

Thundercracker ignored him and instead chose to peer through the bushes to try and see what was happening. The dust had more or less settled, and from the looks of it... the Decepticons had retreated. His shoulders sagged.

Another rustle had the both of them turning around and silencing Starscream mid-rant. A third man was now crawling into the clearing, completely unaware that Starscream and Thundercracker were watching him.

"Skywarp?" Starscream immediately asked without thinking. The man snapped his head their way and froze. Thundercracker felt like slapping his commander; some common sense would suggest that Skywarp as a human would _never_ have blonde hair in a shade that pale.

And also, had that really been Skywarp, his immediate reaction certainly wouldn't have been to dart back into the bushes like a frightened rabbit.

Thundercracker leapt into action and pounced on the blonde before he could get away. But the stranger was surprisingly strong for someone of such a lean frame. Thundercracker was no lightweight either, but his strength alone was simply not enough to hold the thrashing blonde man down.

"Slaggit Starscream stop zoning out and help!" he snarled.

And with a startled look, the third finally jumped into the fray of writhing and struggling naked bodies.

**ooo**

Wheeljack didn't have to lift his head to know that his commander was currently boring holes into his entire frame with just his optics. That flash and bang was from his lab and no amount of words or pleading was going to save him from the holy wrath of an enraged Optimus Prime.

He was in such deep, deep slag.

* * *

A/N: First time I'm posting fics! Its not beta read so I apologize for poor language and any typos. Feel free to let me know if there're errors and such. Reviews and comments are greatly appreciated!

Second chapter will be up eventually... when I get off my lazy butt to type up the rest aha.


	2. Chapter 2

Warning for suggestive... well, suggestive happenings. Nothing very explicit though.

A/N: I know I know, turning TFs into humans is so cliche I should be shot for even writing it. But honestly, I never seem to get tired of it.  
This chapter's a bit short since I'm having trouble getting the rest to flow properly. D:

And a thanks to you guys who reviewed/add to faves/alert! I didn't have time to reply but I do read those reviews :D

* * *

So here he was, about to get the dressing down of his life. Again.

It wasn't the first time (of course), but no matter how often, being told off by Optimus Prime was always... a harrowing experience, to say the least.

"_What. Happened._"

The engineer risked a peek at his commander, and immediately dropped his head; no wonder he was Prime, that look was absolutely terrifying.

"I-I honestly have no idea Prime," he began to say. "I mean, you saw me fighting with the 'Cons right? Or maybe you didn't, since we're busy trying to stay alive and all that, but I _swear_ I was there helping Hound fight Ravage and Soundwave, and then there was that flash, a-and I wasn't in my lab! Really! I just – "

Prime lifted a hand, and he stemmed his ramble.

"Go to your lab. I want to know what it is that caused the flash and what it does."

The engineer nodded enthusiastically.

"_NOW_," he added with a menacing glower. Wheeljack made a noise between a strangle and a squeak before scurrying into the Ark.

Uttering a short sigh as the engineer practically sprinted away from him, Optimus turned his attention back to his troops. At least the Decepticons had fallen back due to that sudden flash bang incident. The rest of the Autobots were starting to regroup, flocking towards him for his next instructions. Jazz was off getting some disoriented stragglers together. First Aid was repairing some of the injured, but none seemed very serious. Everything was going fine...

Or not.

Optimus's CPU jerked to a sudden screeching halt. _Not_ everything was fine. He quickly scanned his gathering troops; something was definitely off, and he couldn't believe he only noticed it now. A similarly worried glance from Jazz told him he wasn't the only one who noticed.

**ooo**

It was a long struggle, but they eventually managed to pin the blonde down. Primus be damned he was slagging strong. Even with Thundercracker helping, who was physically the strongest of their trine, it took nearly forever to get the blonde man to submit.

Well, at least they'd successfully gotten him flat on the ground. Thundercracker was sitting on their captive, legs gripping his sides and hands on his shoulders. Starscream was holding his wrists above his head in a vice-like grip. All three were panting as though they'd run a marathon.

"Alright, who the slag are you if you're not Skywarp?" Starscream demanded between breaths.

The blonde refused to answer.

The former air commander snarled and twisted his captive's wrists viciously. The stranger twisted in agony, almost bucking Thundercracker off. Starscream smirked.

"Hurt, didn't it?" he sneered. "Just tell us who you are, _Autobot_."

The blonde stranger scowled darkly, an expression that Starscream vaguely recognized, but couldn't quite place.

"Does it really matter, Starscream?" he said, jaw clenched. "And besides, I thought with your intelligence you'd be able to tell. It seems I must have overestimated you."

Furious at the jibe, Starscream momentarily forgot his grip on the blonde's wrists and flung himself forward in an attempt to maim the Autobot. Another vigorous scuffle ensued with more punching, kicking, and colourful cursing. It was awhile before they finally got the Autobot down again.

Except this time, Starscream was very uncomfortably aware of their rather compromising position. Thundercracker was behind him, presumably holding down the Autobot's legs. He, on the other hand, was straddling the blonde man around the waist, knees gripping his sides, and leaning forward to hold down the other man's wrists.

Which, of course, brought their faces so close together, he could feel the other's breath on his face.

Starscream was only vaguely aware of their warm, grimy skin chafing against each other as the Autobot struggled to free himself. Right now, he was more concerned with a strange sensation that was gradually building up between his legs, slowly, growing...

A startled, wide eyed look from the blonde met Starscream's confused one.

"What exactly are you doing down there?"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Life took over for a bit, but here's chapter 3! I'm not sure how long I can keep this up though, I have no idea how I want to end this. D:

Not beta read as usual, any mistakes let me know.

* * *

Optimus carefully picked his way across a pile of rocks and shrubbery and pushed away some bushes.

No one. He muttered a few choice curses as some bramble and leaves got stuck between the joints in his hands and fingers. He ignored them anyway and plodded on.

The troops had been searching for a few minutes after the revelation that some of their own had gone missing. Optimus still couldn't quite believe he hadn't noticed earlier, especially when some of the signs were so glaringly obvious. Of his senior officers, only Ironhide and Jazz had reported, First Aid was the only one tending to the injured, and a normally very obvious and visible mech had mysteriously vanished. Optimus looked behind a tree. Still no one.

"Prime! I found out what the machine does!"

The Autobot commander looked round at Wheeljack, who was, wisely, standing a safe distance away from Prime's arm reach. When the engineer hesitated, Optimus's face darkened impressively. Wheeljack whimpered, cowering.

"It–it, the machine, um, well it, or at least I think... I think it turns mechs to, um, humans."

**ooo**

Bumblebee nearly fell into the pile of rocks he was inspecting when a sudden loud and angry bellow of "WHAT!" startled him. The yellow minibot glanced in the direction the yell had come from, feeling a little worried for the engineer. Optimus Prime rarely got angry, but when he did, no one went near unless they were suicidal, or Ratchet. Bumblebee made a silent prayer to Primus for Wheeljack's safety before continuing his careful search around the larger rocks around the Ark.

According to Prime's and Jazz's suspicions, the flash had probably shrunk some of their own, which explained their missing presence among the crew. The troops present upon hearing this had various expressions of alarm and checked the undersides of their pedes. Thankfully, no one had reported strange scraps on the soles of their feet, yet.

A strange sound from Mirage, who was searching nearby, caught Bumblebee's attention.

"Did you find something, Mirage?"

The other mech didn't answer, only continued to stare at a spot behind some bushes. Curious, the minibot went over to inspect for himself what it was the spy was looking at. Perhaps the machine didn't just shrink mechs? What if it did something else to other things too, like change trees to flowers? Hound would probably be devastated... He peered into the the bushes where Mirage still stared, transfixed.

A naked male human stared back at him.

Bumblebee simply stared back, like Mirage, momentarily lost for words.

The human scowled.

"Quit staring already, slaggit."

Both mechs shuttered their optics and reboot their audios. Was that Cybertronian swearing they just heard?

Mirage found his voice first.

"What –"

"I'm Sunstreaker," the human cut in sourly as he stood up.

The two mechs were once again rendered speechless.

Then Mirage snickered. Sunstreaker, who hated humans so much, was now a human? Granted, he still did look quite fetching as a man, but oh the irony. The higher ups had a cruel sense of humour.

The smirk wasn't lost on the mech-turned-human though. Sunstreaker growled.

"Yeah, very funny. Now will you quit giggling and bring me somewhere already? It's slaggin' cold here."


End file.
